Meditation & Mindfulness

Meditation

• Mindfulness Meditation Exercises (free)

• Calm App* (subscription-based, free trial)

• Headspace App*(subscription-based, free trial)

• Happy Not Perfect App* (subscription-based, free-trial)

• Chill App* (free daily mindfulness/kindness quotes)

* There is no affiliation between Pat nor Human Experience Peer Consultant and any of the apps or websites mentioned here.

ABOUT MEDITATION: There are many forms of meditation, but here are some commonly known ones: mindfulness, transcendental, movement, spiritual, zen, focused, loving-kindness.

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I personally have been practicing mindfulness meditation for the past seven years and I have also tried and appreciate are the creative visualization (or guided imagery) and self-compassion meditation styles. So many people tell me they aren’t “good” at it. What I like best about meditation is not having to be good at it, and not trying to achieve anything. You don’t even have to try stopping the thinking wheel or chasing thoughts away (on the contrary!). All you have to do is focus on the breath or an image or a sound and when distracted, patiently and without judgment, keep coming back to it over and over. Many times the results of meditation are calmness and relaxation whereas one of the main goals during sessions is to remain focused in the present moment.

ABOUT APPS: There are many apps out there. Some are free, temporarily free, or subscription based. You can also search for websites offering free online meditation exercises.

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I have used the Headspace and Calm apps for a long time. They both are user friendly and offer many meditation exercises sorted by themes. Nowadays I am using the Happy Not Perfect app. It has additional services to meditation such as writing what I am grateful for, setting a goal for the day, and sending someone a positive note.

Mindfulness & Awareness

Mindfulness is awareness, with attention, in the present moment, on purpose—and with an attitude or intentional stance of nonattached equanimity. (Source: Lion’s Roar)

With mindfulness, we learn to recognize and acknowledge what’s going on in the mind, moment by moment, without judgment and with benevolence, and to let it go. With awareness, we use our awareness of the thoughts, emotions and sensations that arise in the mindstream as the actual focal point of the meditation. (Source: Mindworks)

While mindfulness is about fully and openly embracing the present moment, awareness includes mindfulness with the addition of paying attention to our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations without judgment, in full acceptance, without trying to change anything. Because everything is temporary, what we experience is like clouds in the sky, just passing by. If we don’t identify with it or try resisting it, it will go away. Like Carl Jung said: “What we resist (or fight), persists.” Letting go is key for so much of our mental suffering.

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Along with practicing letting go, acceptance and self-compassion, mindfulness and awareness have been key components to my recovery and my happy life. I used to constantly bury emotions and avoid uncomfortable thoughts until I was introduced to mindfulness. What a life changer and life saver! Through practicing meditation and awareness, I learned to remain calm, confident and clear headed in front of bad feelings and unwanted racing thoughts.

Philosophies

• Buddhism principles

• Stoicism practice

ABOUT PHILOSOPHIES: Everyone has their own belief and I totally respect that. I look for conscientious values, self-reflection focus and skillful approaches to life and people.

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I like the Buddhist values of love, compassion, being in the present moment and letting go which ground me and calm me. I miss joining my local meditation group and dharma talk. As for Stoicism, I had heard about it before but really got to know and practice it in the last year or so. It goes hand-in-hand with mindfulness, self-growth, self-confidence and equanimity. Check my book suggestions below

Books

* There are no professional affiliation between Pat and Human Experience Peer Consultant and any of the books, authors, and publishers mentioned here.

NOTE: Please use caution while selecting a book on mental health/wellness as certain topics can be potentially triggering.

Podcasts

* There is no affiliation between Pat and Human Experience Peer Consultant and any of the Podcasts mentioned here.

NOTE: Please use caution while selecting a podcast on mental health/wellness as certain topics can potentially be triggering.

Therapy Options

There are many types of therapy. Please consult with a therapist, doctor or psychiatrist to determine which type would work best for you and why.

Here are a few that I have experienced:

• One on One Talk Therapy

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

• Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

Alternative therapies can also help but I’m less familiar with those (e.g. acupuncture, massage, nutrition and diet, animal therapy, spirituality, reiki, Ayurveda, talking circles and more. Some of the tools provided below may be used as therapy as well (e.g. walk in nature, cooking, meditating).

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Along with one on one talk therapy, CBT worked very well for me while in crisis to help breaking my negative and distorted thinking patterns. It included mindfulness practices but it wasn’t the formal MBCT program. Later in my recovery, I have continued with one on one talk therapy only along with mindfulness meditation. It is common to see peers using multiple therapies at the same time and peer support groups. Everyone’s needs are different.

I know it can be frustrating and hard finding a therapist and one that you connect with. Don’t give up! There’s a great fit for you out there. Keep knocking on doors, trying, asking around for referrals. Personally, I have had good success with University hospitals with last year resident doctors.

Toolbox

PHYSICAL

• Breathing (simple but so effective!)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE:

• 3-minute breathing space is great to connect with the present moment and be aware of our thoughts, feelings and body sensations and let them go. I have used this tool a lot at the beginning of my recovery and it is still a go-to for me when needed.

• Box breathing or Square Breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, hold - each step lasts 4 seconds, then repeat) is another very effective tool used by the Navy Seals. This technique quickly calms the mind and body while grounding yourself.

• It took me many years to realize that I wasn’t breathing correctly. I was breathing from the lungs/chest, short breathes and even holding my breathes at times. Until my friend Steve, told me about abdominal breathing (also called diaphragmatic or belly breathing) to help reduce anxiety and calm me down. Far from perfect today, but now that I am aware, I can correct myself.

• Smiling

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: When I am going through something difficult, I try to remember and practice this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh: “Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile…”. It helps me to follow with hitting the pause button. See below.

• Exercising (any type and intensity)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: High intensity cardio like running or mountain biking makes my mind clearer. It lifts the brain cloud when I have it. I get the nice release of endorphins, dopamine, serotonin. Sports relieve me from stress, anxiety, and depression while increasing my self-confidence and focus. Great natural antidepressant!

• Walking the dog

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I try to take the “kids” out without my mobile phone and practice mindfulness, by being in the present moment, noticing what surrounds me, if my mind starts spinning thoughts, I come back to what I see, to my dogs walking next to me (or behind me, or in front of me, or not moving at all).

• Doing yoga

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I have practiced yoga for many years and I miss it. It was more accessible than I thought. People from all levels are welcomed. The positive effect on the body is of course very good but the way it grounded me into the present moment was even better. It has made me feel strong, calm, and focused after each session.

• Being in nature (ecotherapy)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: The forest or the beach have an automatic anxiety/stress relief effect for me. I feel free, grateful, and at home in those beautiful places. What is your special favorite place?

• Gardening

• Dancing

• Squeezing a stress ball

• Doing chores

• Repairing or maintaining bikes

• Pillow screaming

• Singing

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Out loud in the car by yourself is the best! Ok, sometimes it turns into a scream but that’s good, my emotions are being felt and let go.

BEHAVIORAL

• Practicing letting go, acceptance, patience, self-compassion

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Along with mindfulness, letting go is another key to my recovery and my happy life. It was a game-changer. Like Carl Jung said: “what we resist (or fight), persists”. I had to learn this one the hard way. At the peak of my worst mental health challenges, my acute stress and anxiety (and amygdala) were shooting adrenaline in my body 24/7 causing insomnia. I was exhausted. I tried different relaxing methods and took a “cocktail” of meds with melatonin, without success. The only thing finally got me to sleep was: letting go! Not fighting anymore, just accepting the situation, roll with it (if I sleep, good, if I don’t, let it be). From that moment, I stopped having insomnia. Many philosophies like Buddhism and Stoicism teach how to let go.

• Balancing the 4 Quadrants of Life (there are various versions of this tool)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Earlier in my recovery, my therapist showed me the example below. It’s pretty simple and it’s a great reminder when life gets in the way. When I feel frustrated and I am not sure why, it’s often because my four quadrants aren’t balanced (in terms of time and energy spent in a day or week or month).

• Taking care of the 8 dimensions of wellness. See NAMI’s Step-By-Step Guide here.

• Slow living

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Big challenge for me as I am on the high-energy side and cannot stand still for long. I feel that our lives are spinning and I always have to be in movement, doing something, achieving a goal, completing a task, doing an activity. I recently started to do slow living days where I don’t plan anything, other than to be alive, grateful for what I have and for this moment of peace and so self-care. I even try to move slowly, not rushing anything, to talk more slowly, using less words, eating more slowly too. I take the time to notice and appreciate my surroundings, the person and animals sitting next to me, my home, my health. I don’t have to do anything. I can just be fulfilled with contemplating my life as it is, in this moment. I may read a book, have a coffee, reflect on my great life (or none of that). It’s awesome! Try it!

• Making an educated guess if ever I feel nothing, or I can’t think anymore.

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I once experienced the “dead zone” i.e. not feeling any emotions anymore. It is pretty scary and confusing. I didn’t know what was happening to me. It didn’t make sense. I was highly anxious and severely depressed at that time. All my feelings were buried, not gone. I wish I knew but now I know. Thanks to Dr. Taylor at McLean Hospital who explained it to me and suggested making an educated guess (try to rationalize based on experience and facts that it is not the truth, something must be wrong).

MENTAL

• Pausing (hitting the pause button to respond instead of reacting to situations or strong emotions)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: This one is much harder than it seems and is very useful. I have to practice this one a lot. I’m a passionate and emotional person so I can quickly react to situations. What helps me is to take one big deep breath and smile instead of reacting. Then I can put things in perspective. Is it that bad? So what? And practice acceptance and choose my response. That is grand zen mastery that I aim to achieve.

• Journaling

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Since my young adult years, I have always been journaling or writing stories or poems. It was a way of expressing my emotions which I kept suppressing inside. I think journaling “saved” me a couple times from depression. Even though I’m better now at recognizing and managing my emotions, I still journal once in a while. I used to read back, now I don’t. I prefer to look at the present moment and forward. It’s a personal choice.

• Unplugging sessions (from any devices and social media)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: What a delight! And in the end, what have I missed? Really? Nothing. I won’t get into the risks for people experiencing depression, suffering from isolation or self-esteem challenges with social media exposing everybody’s “perfect” exhilarating life for all to see. Come on!

• Listening to music

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: My life is always filled with music. It’s been (and still is) a tool to express my emotions (good or bad) and supports my mood. I heard in a podcast that some studies showed that people feeling depressed felt better by listening to sad music. I know it seems counterintuitive, but I can understand. For me, music often expresses words and emotions that I can relate to and want to express. It brings me a feeling of calm, of being understood, and of self-expression myself through the music. Same goes for happy or angry music. My wife still has doubt when I say that heavy music relaxes me.

A few of my favorite songs to support my mental wellness: to ground me, to remind me, to give me confidence and hope::

- “Follow the sun” (Xavier Rudd)

- “Shake it out” (Florence & the Machine)

- “After the storm” (Mumford & Sons)

• Reading

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I’m a reader but I could have a hard time concentrating when I feeling anxious or depressed, so I started buying audiobooks. I distract my mind, learn, and relax without having to concentrate too hard or not being able to finish the first chapter or reading the same sentence over and over again.

• Playing games (requiring focus and providing pleasure like puzzles, cross-words, sodoku…)

• Self-talk (can be similar to CBT but mainly self-compassion, self-confidence talk). See the Spiritual section below.

SPIRITUAL

• Having a daily mantra or use a catch phrase

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I love writing. One day I felt inspired to write a personal mantra that I tell to myself every day. But why? Well, it serves many purposes: feeling grateful for all that I have, setting an intention to be my best self for me and others, providing me with self-confidence, hope and grounding me in the present moment.

I also use the catch phrase “I’m a mountain” (strong, unwavering, rooted, calm and confident) to activate my brain and avoid downward spiraling. This way I can let go and take action to move forward. Studies have shown that positive self-talk shapes neural pathways helping with our self-perception.

• Counting blessings/what I’m grateful for (can be part of your mantra)

• Praying

• Meditating

CREATIVE

• Drawing

• Painting

• Coloring (mandala)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I did mandala coloring during my hospitalization and back at home. My wife would do some with me. It is so relaxing and grabs all of your attention. It uses the creative side of the brain, and leaves the thinking side alone for a change. Super effective while in crisis.

• Playing or creating music

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Even if I wouldn’t play in front of an audience, I like to scratch my acoustic guitar and play songs that I like. I also like to figure out how to play a song by ear (without cheating too much with YouTube). It’s very good for focusing, calming my stress and being proud of myself.

• Cooking

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I really like to cook and learned it mainly on my own and from my wife. It turned out to be much easier than I expected. I started by following a recipe of something not too elaborate. Over time, I gained confidence and knowledge. To me cooking is a great mindfulness exercise as I must stay focused on the present moment, on the task. It becomes a creative activity too (with time). I play music that I like in the background and talk to myself (yes, I do that, lots of jokes and positivity).

SOCIAL

• Talking to a friend, family member, colleague, loved one or call a local warm line or join a peer support group

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: With the pandemic, I have used, like many of us, different videoconferencing platforms but what I always like to do is to send a short text to someone care for to say “hey how are you feeling today?” or “Just thinking of you", I miss you” or “Have a great weekend!”. I also like to send thoughtful and positive quotes that are personalized to the person on the receiving end e.g. to a friend who is going through a rough patch.

• Joining social activities (including online ones)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: There are plenty of meet-up groups for hobbies, sports, discussion, learning, etc. I would break isolation during my severe depression by joining social rides with cycling groups that I found online and through my local bike shop. I met people who became friends and some peers who were also dealing with mental health challenges. I felt less alone and understood.

• Helping others/Volunteering

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: It takes the focus away from myself and my own problems while putting things in perspective and making me feel grateful for all my blessings. It feels good to help others. I wouldn’t do this type of activity while in crisis. It happened to me once and my anxiety level climbed close to a panic attack. I wasn't in a good place at that specific time. I needed more effective tools.

ORGANIZATIONAL

• Having a routine

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: Very important for me, especially when I was feeling depressed. It gave me a purpose, structure, motivation and pride from achieving my goals for the day, even if they were small things like emptying the dishwasher or walking the dog or paying a bill. It is scientifically proven that setting and following a daily routine is great for reducing anxiety and symptoms of depression. Plus, it gives you more headspace to deal with bigger decisions, projects or unforeseen events in the course of your day.

• Setting S.M.A.R.T. goals (Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time bounded)

• Creating your personal W.R.A.P. (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)

• Having an Intervention Plan when in crisis (what to do, what not to do, when to call, who to call, what my needs are…)

• Having a Safety/Crisis Prevention Plan (warning signs in order of severity with coping strategies and resources for each)

PAT’S EXPERIENCE: I had to make my own safety plan when I got discharged from the hospital. It was reassuring to have it but most importantly to share it with my wife, family and friends. I have maintained my safety plan throughout the ups and downs of my recovery.

Non-Profit Organizations

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

• Mental Health America (MHA)

• American Association of Suicidology (AAS)

• California Association of Mental Health Peer-Run Organizations (CAMHPRO)

• Wildflower Alliance (previoulsly Western Massachusetts Recovery Learning Center)

• Canadian Mental Health Association

  * There is no affiliation between Pat and Human Experience Peer Consultant with any of the organizations mentioned here, except for NAMI where Pat is a part-time outreach program coordinator. The opinions on this website are solely Pat’s and not representative of NAMI’s position.

Everyone’s experience is unique, valid and different. Each must find what works for them. Tools, strategies and resources shared on this website are complementary to other wellness options like medication, therapy, primary doctor or specialist visits or alternative options. Pat is a certified peer specialist, not a doctor, not a therapist, not a psychologiost, not a psychatrist.